The F Factor..

I never thought I would get myself to blog about Sunjay Dutts comment (of all things), but it raises certain interesting points about feminisim in todays context.

"...That’s a message not just to my sisters, but to all girls who hang on to their parents’ surname. That’s become fashionable these days. But I strongly feel that doing so disrespects the person they have married.

...This may sound harsh, but if Maanyata had said she wanted to retain her father’s surname, I would’ve felt offended. "

I dont feel too strongly about it- because to each his own.

But does it mean that if a married woman adopts her husbands name, she is more of a married woman than if she doesnt?That sounds weird even writing it down. What does that mean for feminists all over the world?

And why are rules so strictly observed for women all over the world? What about men? Dont they want to feel a part of the marriage? Why do they always go scott free?

I think the answer lies in our society being more patriarch rather than matriarch. The man is still seen as the bread winner and the woman as the house runner. The woman has to belong to the new family and hence she adopts in some cases a new name and a new surname. This I dont seriously get. For 20 some years a woman has been named by her parents, but the inlaws find it right to change her name and surname? Why? Doesnt it mean an identity crisis for the lady in question. Again, more rules for women and less for men.

But what about women who are bread earners as well as home runners? Why are rules more stricter for them? Domestic duties are a must for all good wives. In certain sects, getting domestic help is a big no no.

The other issue I find interesting is how men can get married twice without any shame factor applied, but can a woman do it?Nope. But can a woman in higher society circles do it? Yes! Double standards!!!

Feminists all over the world raise an alarm when a certain French minister returns within 4 days of her maternity leave only to find being fired from her job. Or a Mrs. Obama who left her career for her husbands presidential run. I dont think this was about feminisim though. It was about personal choices. I dont think being a feminist means taking harsh stands on anything that harms "female rights". I think feminisim is about taking stands when a human beings rights are being violated. And you just happen to be a woman.

I think the rules our society made were for ages ago when women were not that educated and liberated. We are now in a new era. Where women are being considered as equals. Notice I said "being considered". We still have a long way to go before we realize that a man and a woman are just human beings who have equal rights and responsibilities in every sphere. And we neednt expect all sacrifices from a woman. Its time men got up and took some of the burden!